You will always find ten different reasons to give up, and may be probably just one to keep going...

In the end, life's all about which number appealed to you the most.

10 or 1.

The world is round. And they say that you only have to walk far enough and you reach back where you started from. Pity, we forget a thing as simple as this.

Call it nature’s sense of justice, but life does come full circle. It all comes back, and what you receive back in life is strictly a matter of your personal choice. A choice whether you threw shit on their faces or showered them with lilacs and lilies...

Urdu:
Hum bhi dariya hai hamai, apna hunar maloom hai
Jis taraf bhi chal padenge, raasta banjayega.

(Translated)
I am an ocean
I know my strength.
In the direction i move,
I will pave my own path.

- Anon

It is only when you look closely that you see, that even the moon, ever so beautiful from a distance, has scars too.

Few days back I had asked AS if I should invite her for my marriage. His reply was simple, “I guess you wanted to marry her, not invite her for your marriage”. He has a knack, of hitting the nail directly, bang onto your head. But I still chose to ignore his advice. She was the first one to receive my invitation card.

She would never know how torn I was while I was inviting her for my wedding. I know my expressions and voice gave out nothing.

Yesterday she called me to check the dates I am going to be away for my honeymoon. She wants me to participate in her wedding sangeet program and was trying to work out dates for my practice accordingly. She wants me to dance for her wedding, like all her good friends. I said, Sure.

I just hope my voice gave out nothing yesterday as well. Dancing at her wedding cannot be that hard afterall.

I knew life was funny. Didn’t know it was ruthless as well.

Loving someone isn't an easy affair. It involves pain. More so, when you aint loved in return. The only available panacea to this pain is 'Hate'... that you end up using against the person you love.

Hate though, has a bad reputation of being the least faithful companion. This you realize after being ditched by it while you were banking on it the most. It leaves you. Suddenly. And vanishes into thin air, leaving you regretful for patronising it.

Once hate leaves, the bitch that it is, memories, suddenly surfaces from no where to show its face. Only to make the matters worse. She makes you remember the good times you had spent together. Reminds you how good life was just a few months ago. There is this thing about happy-loving-sweet memories, it makes you feel miserable.

Ironically, the only cure to this misery is love. Love, that same feeling you kept blaming all this while for putting you though all this in the first place. And alongside that a bit of honesty. To put a closure to things. So that you can move on and stop feeling anything about her, least of all disgusted about her lies.

And in the end of it all, as you move on, you want her to be happy and move on too with her life.

Yea, i know. Funny thing, this love!!

Knowing what is right or wrong is intelligence. Acting on that knowledge and doing the right is character.

Our greatest pains are the ones that are caused by the people who we had once loved very fondly. Rightly so as the thing that can touch our core only has the power to shake and stir us.

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Life would have been much simpler if only we had the power to love someone and un-love someone at our own will.

While its so easy for us to trust a stranger readily, its so difficult to trust someone you love. Especially after having been betrayed once.

There's a truth deeper than experience. It's beyond what we see, or even what we feel. It's an order of truth that separates the profound from the merely clever, and the reality from the perception. We're helpless, usually, in the face of it; and the cost of knowing it, like the cost of knowing love, is sometimes greater than any here would willingly pay. It doesn't always help us to love the world, but it does prevent us from hating the world.

- Shantaram

Two senior managers from our HR team are quibbling in the next cubicle. I can’t hear them clearly, but i can make out they are arguing over something very trivial. And i can’t help but think that their department's most important KRA is to manage conflicts amongst us.....

********

They say pain is a good teacher. That is if you are a good disciple. Its only when you are deep down drowned in sorrow that you get a clear perspective on lot of things. Its only then you suddenly start seeing things clearly. Not the way you had always wanted to, but the way they actually are.

Agreed. All that is very good. But for a change can i have some happiness also, please? Thank you.

********

Now one of them is apologizing to the other. Looks like he realized the mistake. His or someone else's i do not know. It hardly matters. As long as he has realized that there was something that needed fixing and he has fixed it.


My faith in our HR team stands reinstated.

I no longer want to be happy happy. I am happy being perpetually depressed. I do not believe in theory of thinking positive and being happy. Its proponents can go fuck their own arse, or do whatever they wish to do for keeping themselves happy, as long they do not bother me with their mind numbing senseless advice.


I am broke. My entire net worth has eroded. My portfolio is showing negative returns and my pay day is still a week away. If there is anything at all that will help me right now, its either some more capital infusion or an overnight recovery of the global markets. So Mr. Positive Thinking, if you really want to help, go do something to the markets or lend me some money. If you cant do either, the content in first para is just for you.