I am constantly telling myself that she won't even respond to my mail.
That's my way of dealing with such situations. I imagine the worst to happen and get comfortable with that thought. Its increases the joy when anything better happens and doesn’t hurt too much when things go wrong.
I wanted to tell the cafeteria girl (CG) how i felt about her. Only, i realized i have certain confessions overdue and pending for over 6 yrs before I do that. What i felt for CG was merely an infatuation. I wish her well for her life and her future. But if I am so convinced that I should confess at all, then I should confess to someone else for whom I feel an emotion much stronger. And that’s what I have done... by sending that mail.
I had never spoken those three words before. I have never felt so much at peace before.
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3 comments:
Yep - pessimism - the classic defence used by most of us who are afraid of rejection and hence as a result are afraid to say what we really want to say.
I suffer from the same affliction :)
I also realised that whenever I have blurted my heart out to someone (its still blurting...can never look straight and get it out in the first attempt)..I felt 30 Kilos lighter after I did it.
I understand, :)
I wonder why i never said that before and why i had let my inhibition get better of me.
It feels much lighter.
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